sideshow_marco

Well, having just gotten back from the New York/New Jersey area several things have happened to me. One, after only a week of driving down there I have completely changed my driving style, and I used to be such a nice guy. I realize now where all the good looking women reside to, hot women are more commen down there than even average ones, almost got into several accidents with all the head turning I was doing. Other than that is was mostly all of my job related things. I will say one thing though, Maps and Trips with a GPS, awsome, just awsome. Anyway, I'm enjoying all of my new gadgets but still eagerly wait for the laptop.

Actually I needed to let everyone, or really even anyone who reads this, to know that I'll be in NY for the next week or so. Alas I cannot contact the, for the moment at least, I'll see what develops.

Wow, after that exemplary show by Deborah Coleman, I now know that blues is for me. Seriously, that was the greatest live show I have ever been to. The music was great, it really got inside you and messed with your mind, it was like sex (probably explains the mood, all build up and no release). Regardless, thinking deeper upon it however, I realized the music was actually a great analogy for my mindset. Simply exist for that moment, every note before and every note there after don't matter. You need only make a melody for that single instance. The notes before only act as a general guide but should not be thought on for more than is enough to continue and the end of the song may come at any moment and has the potential of not coming at all, all that really matters is what is now.

Well I first scored a job with thanks to Jeff, so I'll be leaving for New York to start training on Monday. Hopefully that will go well. Only bad news is they like the fact that I am up here in the Northeast as opposed to down south, so I'm not sure one of the advantages to this job will come to fruition, but we shall see. Next I scored an evening with a cutey up at UMA to which we shall be enjoying the jazz sounds of Deborah Coleman, so that should rock.

I have again awoken angry at the world, however after further research, it has shown that my emotional state has been declining under the 50% mark since the first which would help explain alot. However, my emotions are getting out of control and are reacting in ways that I feel should not be. I seem to always fall for the types of women who can hurt me most and most easily and it appears to be happening again. At least this time I'm aware of what is going on and so can prepair for, but if only I could stop myself from feeling that connection to begin with. Regardless, despite all my resistance, things appear to be in motion that I cannot undo and must simply wait for all things to come crashing down once again. Anyway, I seem to be especially vague this morning, but it still feels good to get that out...

I hate to wake only to be pissed off for no good reason. Now granted I do have reasons, they just arn't good ones. Still though, the anger and frustration that has resulted is far more than it should be, I'm really begining to wonder what the underlying reason is...

Well, that was certainly an interesting lunch. A few unexpected guests came over today including one girl who shall remain nameless. Anyway, having semi-recently broken up with her last boyfriend she was strongly expressed her desire to "focus on her school work". I love how conflictory women can be by what they say and do. For after having found out that I had broken up with my girlfriend, I was immediately innundated with questions as to why my relationship ended (to figure out if I was a cheater which I am not) and when the reason came to bear I found my feet constantly being brushed up against. Normally I would ignore such subtle movements, but there frequency and intensity left me wondering. So I made a few subtle grazes of my own just to judge a reaction, and I found what I was expecting, not a startled or even reactionless reaction, but a look of relief and longing. Ahh, if only I were interested I might flirt further.

I found this to be pretty interesting, though I question its accuracy, but we shall see I guess.

Heir to the King of Hearts
For those who follow,
Find peace in empty hollow.
A world of darkness, void, and space.
An even calm upon their face.
For the King of Hearts has a love so deep,
But was rejected and thrown back at his feet.
Now he stares into distant lands,
Taking action into his own hands.
A distant look within his eyes,
There he stands by pain paralyzed.
Follow thee, heir to the King of Hearts.

Watching Lost in Translation for the first time, I find myself understanding about 60-70% of the Japanese. I guess all that anime has proved to actually taught me something. Now if only I had a use for it, my accomplishment might be worth something.

The Ultimate Survey
Created by jessica-erin and taken 46 times on bzoink!
The Basics
Name?	Marcus
Gender?	Male
Zodiac Sign?	Aquarius
Age?	23
Age you act?	fluctuates
Hometown?	never lived anywhere more than 3 years
Current Location?	Harpswell
School?	no
Job?	Map Technician
Dream Job?	video game designer
Addictions?	sex and alcohol
Obcessions?	psychology
Favorite Color?	red
Favorite Food?	hibachi steak
Favorite non-alcoholic drink?	grape poweraide
Favorite alcoholic drink?	kamikazee shots
Special Talents?	I can read minds and palms
Favorite toy as a child?	G.I. Joes
Favorite type of music?	techno
Appearance
Height?	5'7"
Weight?	135 lbs.
Eye Color?	brown
Glasses or Contacts?	contacts
Natural Hair Color?	black
Current Hair Color?	black with a few gray hairs
Braces?	no
Piercings?	no
Tattoos?	not yet
What do you like most about your body?	my eyes
Least?	not enough muscle mass
Your style?	subdued and minimalistic
Do You...
speak more than one language?	yes
live in the moment?	mostly
have any secrets?	yep
like your handwriting?	not really
keep a journal?	occasionally
smoke?	no
drink?	yes
do drugs?	not anymore
cuss?	occasionally
read the newspaper?	when its around
pray?	yes
go to church?	yes
snore?	not sure
talk in your sleep?	oh yeah
talk to strangers who IM you?	of course
wish on stars?	no, forgot about that
trust others easily?	no
play any instruments?	I did
like meeting new people?	one on one
own a car?	yes
own a cell phone?	no
like to throw popcorn at people in the movies?	no
sing in the shower?	no
have any embarassing CD\\\'s on your shelf?	yes
use sarcasm a lot?	...no, of course not
untie your shoes before you take them off?	no
excercise daily?	yes
speak more than one language?	yes, didn't they already ask this?
Have You Ever...
taken naked photos of yourself?	yes
sang karaoke?	yes
had a medical emergency?	yes
had surgery?	yes
ran away from home?	no
played strip-poker?	yes
gotten beat up?	no
beaten somebody up?	yes
been on stage?	yes
slept outdoors?	yes
gone a whole day w/o food?	yes
talked on the phone all night?	yes
slept all day?	yes
broken a law?	yes
been arrested?	no
made out with a stranger?	no
had sex with a stranger?	no
kissed somebody of the same sex?	yes
had a dream come true?	yes
met a famous person?	yes
killed an animal on purpose?	no
on accident?	yes
told a secret you weren't supposed to?	yes
stolen anything?	yes
been in/on the newspaper/T.V./Radio?	yes
been in a mosh-pit?	yes
had a nervous breakdown?	yes
had a recurring dream?	yes
gotten in a wreck?	yes
danced in the rain?	yes
went skinny-dipping?	yes
snuck out of the house?	yes
solved a rubiks cube?	yes
wore pajamas in public?	yes
broken a bone?	yes
went skydiving?	no
went bungee jumping?	no
been on a plane?	yes
been out of the country?	yes
been to a casino?	yes
had a water balloon fight in winter?	no
This or That?
Coke or Pepsi?	coke, mixes better with rum
Black or White?	black
Passive or Aggressive?	passive
Day or Night?	night
Soda or Pop?	soda
McDonalds or Burger King?	burger king
Food or Ice?	food
Lover or Fighter?	lover
Indoors or outdoors?	outdoors
Cats or Dogs?	cats
East Coast or West Coast?	east coast
Fruit or Vegetables?	fruit
Snow or Rain?	rain
Chocolate or Vanilla?	vanilla
Democrat or Republican?	middle of the road
Christina or Britney?	ech, if I must Christina
Bath or Shower?	bath
Boxers or Briefs?	boxers
Personal Thoughts/Beliefs
Biggest Fear?	that the best part of my life is behind me
Greatest Priorities in life?	love, sex, and happiness
Greatest strength?	a keen mind with a great memeory
Greatest Weakness?	lack of ambition
Anything you regret doing in life?	I lied once with terrible consiquences
Believe in life on other planets?	oh yeah
Miracles?	yep
Astrology?	to an extent
Magic?	yes, but not in its current interpretation
God?	yes
Satan?	yes
Santa?	no
Ghosts?	no
Luck?	yes
Witches?	yes
Easter Bunny?	no
Is there a pot of gold at the end of the rainbow?	I wish
Gay Marriage?	I could care less
War?	no
Divorce?	yes, but not to its current extent
When Was The First Time You...
had a girlfriend/boyfriend?	kindergarten
kissed someone?	same time I believe
drove a car?	12 I think
went on a date?	freshman year of high school
looked at porn?	depends of the definition
bought cigarettes?	only cigars, senior year of high school
had sex?	I hate this question
got drunk?	I think I was 6
When Was The Last Time You...
had a girlfriend/boyfriend?	3 months ago
kissed someone?	same time
went on a date?	same time
looked at porn?	today
bought cigarettes?	6 months ago, but again, only cigars
had sex?	3 months ago
got drunk?	last Saturday
cried?	2 nights ago
went to a party?	2 months ago
Who was the last person...
you talked to online?	Ashley
you talked to on the phone?	recruiter at DeLorme
you laughed at?	Tiffany
laughed at you?	Tiffany
that turned you on?	not counting online, this girl at the club, I have no idea what her name was
you went shopping with?	Meghan
that broke your heart?	Meghan
to disappoint you?	Chris
to ask you out?	Amanda
to make you cry?	Meghan
to brighten your day?	Meghan
you thought about?	that depends if it means IRL or online
saw a movie with?	Meghan
you hugged?	ah damnit, I can't remeber her name
you danced with?	the same girl, can't remeber her name though
FRIENDS
Best friend?	Skye, Jeff, Chris, or Lisa; depends on the situation
Most shy?	Jeff
Most outgoing?	Chris
Biggest couch potatoe?	Chris
Funniest?	Ricky
Smartest?	Jeff
Wierdest?	Jeff
Best singer?	Lisa
Preppiest?	Chris
Blondest?	Tiffany
Shortest?	Dan
Tallest?	Chris
Most likely to end up in jail?	Ricky
Lives the closet?	Tiffany
Lives the farthest away?	Jeff
Would you die for any of your friends?	any one of them
Do you have more male or female friends?	pretty even
What is an inside joke you have with a friend?	$50
Have you ever had a friend pass away?	no
Have you ever fantasized sexually about a friend?	yes
LOVE
Single?	yep
Do you enjoy being single or in a relationship more?	relationship
Are you a romantic?	very
Turn-ons?	purring, snuggling, the scent of a woman, and loose clothing
Turn-offs?	long toes
Craziest thing you've done for love?	nearly killed myself driving through the worst rain storm which flooded the road to go see her
Are you in love right now?	no
Do you believe in love at first sight?	yes
SEX
Sexual orientation?	straight
virgin?	no
number of partners?	plead the 5th
any one night stands?	no
lights on or off?	like it both ways, but I like to see whom I'm with
Most sensitive spot on your body?	below my ear
Enjoy giving oral sex?	oh yes
Enjoy recieving oral sex?	not so much
Enjoy sex?	hell yes
Have you ever had anal sex?	no
Do you enjoy it?	never tried
Favorite position?	girl on top
Ever had bad sex?	yes
Do you masturbate?	yep
When was the last time you masturbated?	I think today
How often do you masturbate?	too often
What is the most you've masturbated in one day?	3 times
Fetishes?	squirters
Ever had a threesome?	no
If not, would you like to?	if its another girl
Has anyone ever watched you have sex?	no
If not, would you let someone?	sure
Craziest place you've ever had sex?	in the driveway of my old house
Ever been caught?	no
Do you own any toys?	no
Do you like porn?	sometimes
Right This Moment...
What time is it?	5:16 pm
What are you wearing?	just a loose pair of pajama like pants
Are you listening to music?	yes
Watching T.V.?	its on, but I'm not watching
Worried about anything?	yes and no
What's on your mouse pad?	don't have one
Current weather?	clear skies
Create a Survey | Search Surveys | Go to bzoink!

Now granted the snow can be pretty, and the falling of it can be interesting, but once this storm stops I'm going to have to go outside and shovel a hundred foot driveway which is now covered by a layer of snow 22" deep. This I am not looking forward to.